Steven Van Over

Hanging at the NFL Water Cooler – Quoting NFL BS

April 17, 2018
, 3:43 am
Steven Van Over

The weekend is gone, Monday has mercifully moved on and it’s time to hang out at the NFL water cooler as we decipher some of the NFL sound bites and call them for the BS they truly are. No time to waste, the doughnuts are getting stale.

“We feel good about Donald contract talks.” – Rams HC Sean McVay

Really? When was the last time the company you work at felt “good” about a negotiation for something they really, really want badly but know is going to cost a LOT dragging out over years? They felt “good” about that? Glad to know how the Los Angeles Rams organization “feels” about this crucial subject. Here are a few singular terms the #LARams fan base “feels” in regards to the contract talks.

Concerned
Inpatient
Hopeful
Worried
Tired of watching #Rams studs go elsewhere

Ok, the last one was like seven words but you get the gist. “Good” is not the descriptor that should have been used. The team isn’t openly hostile ala Steelers/Le’Veon Bell but it’s still BS.

What they really meant to say was: “The two sides are actively talking and the conversation has been blunt but amicable as each side state their case and we slowly move forward in crucial negotiations.”

It’s like the 70’s all over again when the interpreter gives a one-word translation of how the Russian Olympian feels after winning the gold medal and talking for five minutes on the subject. “She feels good.”

#ComeOnMan

“Winning Starts Today! Right Now” – Browns HC Hue Jackson

Really? Winning starts now? Did anyone have the need to ask him why he waited two seasons to actually be competitive? No? Journalism is dead.

What Hue really meant to say was: “After trying to win football games with a front office that was setting up the team using a slide rule and an Ouiji Board we now have actual NFL executives on the team and after two brutal years of absolutely horrific football I actually “feel” like we can compete on Sunday. We probably won’t win but damn it, we have a shot every Sunday starting right now!”

The actual Jackson quote makes a much better tweet but is TOTAL BS. Then again, if you’re still a Browns fan, you have to be used to it by now.

#ComeOnMan

“We’ll sign Kaepernick if an NFL team signs him.” – Adidas

Really? The shade here is huge and if not tragic would be funny. What the company should have said was: “When Kaepernick was still in the league his jersey was the #1 seller BECAUSE of his kneeling and we DAMN sure want to sell that many jerseys again. Oh yea, freedom, America first and all that. Did we mention that his was the #! selling jersey in the NFL!?! Free speech baby!”

#ComeOnMan

What say you Sports Nation?

Another Left Coast Sports Post: on Twitter – Steven Van Over