Hackenpuke Humpday, The followup and the New Kneeling Rule
Ok kiddies. Sorry for the delay, long weekends throw my schedule clean off, and hey…I missed you too.
So, let’s start off with a paean to my regular readers. A correct answer in the comments section gets you a six-pack. Who can guess what your humble scribe is doing tomorrow?
Here’s the clue. The late great Bon Scott.
“She had the face of an angel,
Smiling with sin,
The body of Venus with arms,
Dealing with danger,
Stroking my skin,
Let the thunder and lightening start”
I anticipate an intensely erotic, sporting discussion. And I wont look like Shaggy anymore.
Anyway, today we’re going to talk about idiocy as I am still not over the Hackenpuke thing, but lets start in with the NFL in general.
The NFL, in some form or another, has existed for 120 years. Somehow, they managed to get confused over what a catch is. What Halcyon days. And they just stepped in it again.
So, the new ‘No Kneeling Rule’ now a couple starting points. I’m neutral on the issue, however, this has been so distorted, for better or worse, as a speech issue, a race issue, a collusion issue, and God only knows what I’ve missed in my apathy for it. Let’s start with the obvious.
There are two salient facts here. First, sports is the ENTERTAINMENT business. This is not the Olympics. Professional sports is entertainment, and therefore competes with other forms of entertainment, for dollars and attention. Second, the NFL IS a workplace. Like it or not, it is.
So, Now, depending on how old you are, you may or may not remember Joe Namath v. Pete Rozelle, and Brothers III. Or Jim McMahons Headbands. The NFL has and does govern the conduct of its employees, off the field, and especially on the field. Always has. Namath was the biggest player in the game, and Mad magazine covered it thusly…
“Broadway Joe, and Pete Rozelle,
resolved to have a scrimmage.
For Broadway Joe, Rozell said,
Was Ruining Footballs image.
Though they had a fight and very nearly parted….
You notice that they patched things up,
before the season started”
Colin Kaepernick is not Joe Namath circa 1970. AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOE!
So, to continue. Those of you with any sense of sports history will remember Tommie Smith and the 68 Olympics.
Here is where the NFL fucked it up. They had an issue that was nearly dead, and went ahead and wrote a new rule when there was already one in place. Forget what you read about the NFL Guidelines, it’s wrong. The rule was in place.
and it states thusly, (2013 version, GOOGLE IT)
RULE 5, SECTION 4, ARTICLE 7
” players are prohibited from wearing, displaying, or otherwise conveying personal messages either in writing or illustration, unless such message has been approved in advance by the League office”
Now, the definition of ILLUSTRATION, includes, ‘the action or fact of illustrating something, either pictorially or by exemplification.’
The Coach illustrated the proper method of catching a football with his thumbs facing each other….An overt physical act.
The rule was already there. And yes, when it was written originally, Tommie Smith most assuredly came up in the discussion.
It was the era of Nam and Black Power, and the NFL was a decidedly conservative institution back in the day. And yes, we may have matured as a country…( I am not so sure) but the NFL has been one of the most right-leaning of the major sports bodies.
But no, The NFL, unwilling to clarify that rule, wanted to poll test the ongoing debate, by issuing a new one. It’s idiotic. This issue is so overblown, The players are pissed, the President of the United States is pissed, and fans, are increasingly pissed off. In my opinion, the fans are pissed by the fact that most of them have to live within workplace rules on myriad subjects, some righteous, many idiotic, more than they are by the underlying issue. They see these athletes, on whom they spend countless dollars to afford them pretty nice lifestyles, whining about not being able to do whatever the hell they want, while they are at work. And when the athletes don’t get that, fans become disillusioned, beyond what Jets and Browns fans live with, and worse … become irate. Rocking the boat is bad juju for business. Like my wise Editor told me, touch Politics, you lose half your audience. Not to the NFLfuckingPA. See, the last sentence. Take your moral conscience to the streets, not your Owners TV contract time. (and BTW…consider how much TV dollars, are affected by these preening displays of pop culture politics. Now half of the NFL looks like the Diva’s Wideouts are known to be.
So, the media, particularly ESPN, and (then by extension their parent company, Disney, of the nubile child porn cartoon characters, whose stock fell 2% as of this writing, due to overtly political shit) has been distorting and confusing the issue, right from the beginning. So I hope you now have some clarity. I will end, this section by offering an insight into what I feel, about it. Some of the most striking words ever written, at least until I read a book of Poetry by screenwriter Amanda Samaroo.
“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”
And on that note, Mike Florio, of NBC, is an idiot. Please do read his column on Jerry Jones in his Kaepernick deposition, which touches on this subject.
Because the next offering in this space is going to be a savage evisceration, of the mediocrity you sports fans have long had to suffer.
I intend to tear him a new a$$hole, so large that he won’t be able to kegel a bowling ball.
And btw, I’d like to thank a new friend of this space, @AllisonLCarter for contributing to the process that produced today’s logorrhea. She writes local favor for the Indianapolis Star, but you don’t have to be in Indy to appreciate her. Give her a read.
So, back to the Jests, who are not being well served by its real owner playing Ambassador to the Court of St.James…. Tea Time! And Tee TIme fits Woody.
At least he’s gone, and it’s easy to wish the young man well. Now in reviewing that draft, Mickey Macc comes off a little less mentally challenged. Not a lot, but less. But lets examine the real world implications of that decision. The failure to gain even a serviceable player at 51, is a tremendous productivity cost, on the team. Then the roster decisions that have to be made, who comes, goes, stays and plays are adversely affected, especially when the dead weight is a QB. Again, If Bridgewaters knee is ok, maybe it isn;t so bad. If it isnt? The number 3 overall gets thrown to the wolves, ESPECIALLY, in light of the current Concussion Protocall paradigm. Do you want D’Arnold goiing up against a Dick LeBeau like zone blitz defense, if forced into action early on? Whats the cost of fucking up the first round pick (especially a top 5 pick?) FIVE FUCKING YEARS.
Now, If that were to happen, Mickey Macc is out of the GM business. And, “Long Suffering” will take on a whole new dimension. So on that note, I’ll close with a selection from the forthcoming book, An Ocean Awaits, Selected Poems of Amanda Samaroo @Asamaroo613
I can no longer
Afford this sorrow
The cost robs me
Left with nothing
To pay rent due
Of hope and happiness
Out of reach
My body deteriorates
My mind to
No, She is not a Jets fan, but clearly, she sympathizes.
I want to know what you think,
C’mon, Enter the Tigers Den.