The Josh Gordon Negotiations

Bill Belichick: Yes, you know Art and I go way back, I always pick up your calls directly. Only you and Jon Bon Jovi.

EOM: Well …

BB: I’m not taking that kicker.

EOM: No?

BB: I am interested in Gordon.

EOM: Good.

BB: Why do you guys keep calling me?

EOM: You are the only number we have on speed dial.

BB: Ok, let’s cut to the chase. We like winners in New England. We’re not sure despite Gordon’s past performance and really cheap contract that we are willing to take him on.

EOM: We just want him gone faster than Ron Harper.

BB: You do realize I respect loyalty?

EOM: Yes, that’s why we call you first.

BB: Ok, great. You do realize I cut your most town’s most loyal athlete, treated him like dirt, got fired, did the same thing here, and I have too many rings to count?

EOM: Yes, it was in my employee orientation yesterday.

BB: Ok, sing the Patriot Fight Song three times, and I’ll have the papers personally couriered to you to be signed by the time you are done.

EOM: Great!

BB: One more thing.

EOM: Oh, sorry, thanks, Bill. We love your press demeanor during the mandatory Super Bowl sess …

(Click)

#retire19

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