We call it the "NFL Daily Arrest Report" out of tradition. In reality, the NFL has quite the low percentage in regards to such things. However, considering the combination of being in the public eye and making staggering amounts of money in relation to what John Q. Public takes home and the #facepalm aspect of it isn't going away anytime soon.
Without further ado, here are the latest Darwinian failures from the hallowed halls of the National Football League:
Cardinals GM Steve Keim - Extreme DUI
According to the NFL's media arm, Arizona Cardinals GM Steve Keim was incarcerated at 9 p.m. on Tuesday in Phoenix after pleading guilty to extreme DUI. Don't feel sorry for him at all as he gets out Thursday after almost dodging the "extreme" aspect of the charge which is mind-boggling but goes to show what contacts and money can do for you. Extreme DUI in Arizona is blowing a .15 or more which is to say you are absolutely smashed. You are "that guy" at the party. This dude blew a .193 and he spends a couple nights in jail?!?
The team did suspend him five weeks and $200,000 that will be donated to Mothers Against Drunk Driving (MADD). The suspension will begin immediately. Think this trough. The guy can afford a $200k fine and take a 5-week vacation to keep his job but $40 for an uber to save someone's life is just too much of a strain on the finances.
The NFL has had no word on what its stance will be. They have stepped in before to offer perfunctory slaps on the wrist to any white male executive or owner caught in such a predicament. I see no reason for them to shift gears here bringing their executive punishments in line with what they deal out to their players. The unbalance is blindingly obvious.
Cardinals TE Ricky Seals-Jones - SWD Stupid While Drunk
Obviously, the Cards take their leadership cues from the top. The NFL's Lakisha Jackson shares with us that Seals-Jones allegedly "tried to enter the W Hotel to use the restroom. An employee informed him that based on the time, the hotel only allows guests of the hotel inside." I was unable to find word as to the exact or even a general time of the incident. However, these things generally are between midnight and daylight.
Now being turned away would probably have ended right there for most of us. However, it seems Seals-Jones (as he told the police) had to go "really bad" and, depending on who you believe, moved a rope and possibly "one hand shoved" an employee in the shoulder area.
You guessed it. Security restrained him until the police arrived. Officers indicated Seals-Jones "appeared to be intoxicated."
Tough utterly stupid on a ton of levels I can't put this anywhere near what the GM did in terms of behavior. And really? It seems if you're black and have a full bladder you better hold it. The dude just needed to relieve himself. And as everyone knows, when ya gotta go, ya gotta go.
What say you Sports Nation?
Another Left Coast Sports Post: on Twitter - Steven Van Over