NFL Football Inflated

(Dallas) Cowboys Urban Legends

Things tend to get over-inflated when passionate Dallas Cowboys fans get their sights set on their personal holy grails.

Today the NFL Network is (again) reporting a story where New Orleans head coach Sean Payton “scoffs” at “Cowboys coaching rumors.” According to the writer, the recent lack of an extension for head coach Jason Garrett is the cause for the rumor. Poor Mr. Patra could not be more wrong. The root cause of this rumor, as it is every time it comes up, is the undying optimism and ability to live in denial of many true, blue Dallas Cowboys fan.

As coach Payton mentions in the article he is used to answering the inquiries. They are persistent and show no signs of letting up anytime soon.

“I’m in my 13th year. I don’t know how to answer it … I’ve got fleur-de-lis tattoos that can’t be erased!” – Saints Coach Sean Payton on Cowboys head coaching rumors

The Cowboys faithful truly love their team. However, a Lombardi redemption has been remiss since the exit of Jimmy Johnson. Hence they have developed an ability to suspend logic, ignore facts, the salary cap, gravity, and the 10 commandments if it will get them the missing part that gets their team BACK to the promised land. BACK where they belong. BACK to the Super Bowl. Hence these urban legends take on a life of their own and there is no known force to combat them.

If you believe I am referencing an isolated incident, let’s quickly list a few of the Cowboys urban legends that just won’t die (please note the exclamation points).

  • (Former) Seattle safety Earl Thomas to the Cowboys!
  • Big D will draft/sign a “big” DT this year, 340 lbs or more!
  • Jerry will draft a true “power” back this year for short yardage!
  • Mike Zimmerman is coming back to coach the Cowboys!
  • Sean Payton is coming back to coach the Cowboys!
  • Jerry is going to hand over GM job to a real football guy this year!
  • Dallas won’t draft an injured, suspended or off-field issue guy this year!
  • The team is ONE player away from the Super Bowl (thank you, Jerry)!!

Now tell me you have not heard or seen an actual Cowboys fan push at least one of the above soundbites with a straight face every year for the last 20 seasons? Almost 25 you say? My bad.

Coach Payton has (obviously) learned to enjoy it to a degree and to be frank, so have I. However, I have also learned to accept some truths about the Dallas Cowboys that a puissant segment of the fan base seems to have blinders on in regards to.

  • Cowboys aren’t going to spend big $ at the safety position
  • Marinelli doesn’t want a 340 lbs guy on his line
  • Garrett doesn’t prefer a limited role RB (short yardage only)
  • Zimmerman has a good thing going with the Vikings
  • Payton has a great thing going with the Saints
  • Jerry will have his last draft pick as GM set in his will
  • Dallas will take a high-risk/reward player every season
  • The team is NOT one player away from the Super Bowl, but they are pretty darn good right now

Which urban legend is your favorite? Did I leave one out? Comment below.

What say you Sports Nation?

Another Left Coast Sports Post: on Twitter – Steven Van Over

Steven Van Over

Steven Van Over

Senior Analyst, Editor, Photographer, Podcaster at SportsTalkLine
Senior Analyst, Editor, Podcaster & Photographer for @SportsTalkLine Network. Started covering the Cowboys on CowboysNation.com. Moved to the same gig here and now head the NFL desk. Catch me on Twitter @StevenVanOver
Steven Van Over
Steven Van Over

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